Why You Keep Hitting Rock Bottom in Love & Money — And How to Finally Break the Cycle

The Pain of Starting Over—Again

You’ve been here before. Another failed relationship. Another heartbreak that knocks the wind out of you. Another “final” withdrawal from your savings. Another month wondering where the money went—or how you’re going to make it back.

It’s not just frustrating. It’s exhausting to keep picking yourself up off the floor, telling yourself,

“This time will be different,” only to end up in the same place again.

You may start to wonder: “Am I doing something wrong?” “Why do I keep ending up here?” “Is it me?”

Here’s the truth: You’re not broken. You’re patterned. And if you’ve hit rock bottom more than once—in your love life, your bank account, or both—this article is here to show you why, and more importantly, how to finally break the cycle.

What Rock Bottom Really Means (It’s Not What You Think)

Rock bottom isn’t just a dramatic phrase for hard times. It’s a deeply emotional mental set point—the place your brain knows how to survive, even if it doesn’t help you thrive.

Most people think rock bottom is just bad luck or poor choices. But from a neurological and emotional perspective, it’s often your subconscious trying to restore you to what’s familiar, not what’s best.

In love, this looks like:

• Getting attached too quickly, only to be ghosted or betrayed.

• Picking emotionally unavailable or avoidant partners.

• Sabotaging healthy relationships because they feel “boring” or “too good to be true.”

In money, it shows up as:

• Making money quickly, then spending or losing it just as fast.

• Having a breakthrough month or landing a new client, only to feel guilt, fear, or burnout right after.

• Repeating debt or feast-or-famine cycles no matter how much you earn.

Here’s why this happens: Your brain doesn’t crave success. It craves familiarity.

If chaos, lack, or emotional abandonment were normal growing up, your brain may associate stability with risk—or even danger.

This is why people unconsciously recreate chaos when things start going too well. It doesn’t mean you don’t want love or abundance. It means your emotional baseline needs a reset.

The Emotional Patterns That Keep You in the Cycle

There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not lazy. You’re not unworthy. You’re not just “bad with money” or “unlucky in love.”

But you are running emotional patterns your brain has repeated for years.

Inside The Love Loft, I teach a framework called The 8 Love Loops™—subconscious emotional patterns that shape how you give, receive, and sustain love, money, and worth.

Here are a few that may sound familiar:

1. The Dragon

You crave control because you deeply distrust others. In relationships, you push people away before they can hurt you. In money, you struggle to delegate, rest, or feel safe not being the one doing everything.

2. The Trophy Chaser

You seek security in status, external validation, or outcomes. You attach to people or financial goals quickly, hoping they’ll fix your inner instability. But when they don’t give you what you want, you spiral.

3. The Allurer

You don’t truly know or believe in your value. In love, this can look like people-pleasing, over-giving, or staying in situations too long. In money, it’s undercharging, tolerating misaligned work, or staying stuck because you doubt your worth.

These loops were formed in response to emotional pain. They are your brain’s attempt to protect you—but now they’re sabotaging the life you actually want.

Why Mindset Isn’t Enough

Here’s the mistake many smart, self-aware people make: They think if they just “think more positively” or hustle harder, they’ll finally change their outcomes.

But if your brain doesn’t believe safety, love, or abundance are sustainable... no amount of mindset work will stick.

You’ll keep falling back into what’s familiar. That’s why you can spend years in therapy, buy all the self-help books, or follow every finance tip—and still find yourself in the same patterns.

To truly break the rock bottom cycle, you need to go deeper than mindset. You need emotional repatterning that works with how your brain stores memory, emotion, and expectation.

How to Break the Rock Bottom Cycle—For Good

If you’re ready to stop starting over, here’s where to begin:

1. Identify Your Emotional Pattern (Love Loop)

Start by becoming aware of the dominant emotional pattern your brain is operating from. Ask yourself:

• What emotional experiences feel most familiar—even if I don’t like them?

• What beliefs do I hold about love, money, and worth?

• Do I feel guilt or fear when things are going well?

Take the free Emotional Pattern Quiz to find out which of the 8 Love Loops you’re most aligned with.

2. Rewire Your Emotional Triggers

You can’t rewrite your story from a place of mental chaos.

Daily brain-calming tools like breathwork, somatic tracking, journaling, or guided visualizations help your mind stay present and safe during change.

When your brain feels safe to receive love and money without collapsing into fear, the pattern starts to shift.

3. Upgrade Your Internal Beliefs Around Worth

At the root of repeated rock bottoms is often a worthiness wound.

You must believe:

• You are worthy of being loved without earning it.

• You can make and keep money with ease.

• You don’t have to struggle to prove your value.

This is where neural embodiment comes in—not just knowing it logically, but rewiring your brain to expect and sustain these truths.

Inside our Love & Money Alignment Challenge, we use visualizations, rewiring labs, and private coaching to help you shift at the subconscious level.

4. Join a Supportive Repatterning Space

Doing this work alone is slow and draining. Inside The Love Loft, you’ll find coaching, emotional safety, and community support to help you break the cycle.

If you’re tired of starting over... If you’re ready to rise and stay there... This is your invitation to begin again—the right way.

Next Steps: Your Rise Starts Now

You don’t need another rock bottom to wake you up. You need brain-based alignment, emotional safety, and tools that actually shift your patterns.

Start here:

• Take the Emotional Pattern Quiz

• Join the Love & Money Alignment Challenge

• Explore The Love Loft Membership and receive the tools to break the cycle for good

You are not too late. You are not too far behind. You are simply ready to stop starting over—and finally rise.